tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29475314647319324632024-03-17T23:03:18.568-04:00This Is Hysteria!A hysterical woman writing hystericallyMarissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.comBlogger119125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-79075751183872617572011-10-13T01:08:00.000-04:002011-10-13T01:08:16.168-04:00"Tact"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mrxstitch.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/tact-by-nerdgirljulie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://www.mrxstitch.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/tact-by-nerdgirljulie.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div><br />
</div><div><br />
</div>Ever since I was a child, I've been a very polite person. As an adolescent I was also very shy and had a hard time making friends. Then, when I was in grade nine I read <i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_win_friends_and_influence_people">How To Win Friends And Influence People</a></i> by Dale Carnegie. "Smile," the book told me. "Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves," "Talk in terms of the other person's interests," were among the many useful tips within. <div><br />
</div><div>I took the book to heart. And it worked. Getting people to talk about themselves made conversation a lot easier and less awkward. And because I really listened, people liked talking to me. That book became my bible. I took it so seriously that about a year and a half after befriending one of my now best friends, she said, "I hardly know anything about you. You never talk about yourself. Why don't you talk about yourself more?" Why? Because I followed <i>HTWFAIP</i>'s instructions assiduously, and focused on encouraging others to talk about themselves. <div><br />
</div><div>The major lesson I took away from the book was to always put my feelings aside, and put the other person's feelings, ego and interests first. To go out of my way to make the other person feel comfortable and respected. The number one rule for dealing with others was, "Never criticize, condemn or complain." And this is all well and good in many situations. But as a model for daily living I found it saps one of one's sense of agency, of power. Interestingly, a lot of Carnegie's advice goes along well with the ideals that women in our society are supposed to live up to - always smiling, always supportive, ever a self-sacrificing wife and mother. </div></div><div><a name='more'></a></div><div>It wasn't until I started reading feminist and anti-racist literature that I realized that not every interaction is about winning friends or influencing people. Sometimes it's about asserting that your needs and your interests are important, and should be respected, without having to carefully and sensitively dance around privileged people's feelings in order to "earn" that respect. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Because my needs and interests are important. I am important. That's still an idea that I have trouble wrapping my mind around. But I'm working on it. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Which is not to say that every time I overhear someone say something bigoted I try to turn the incident into a confrontation. If it's a person I hardly know that I usually just let it go, because I don't have much time with them and there's no reason why they should care very much about what I have to say. I might die a little inside, but I let it go. If I know the person, then I'll try to explain what's wrong with their behaviour, politely, even casually, and try to put the issue in terms that they understand. But there have been situations where I've gotten quite worked up and "aggressive." Situations where I've thrown Carnegie's rules for influencing people to the wind. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Because sometimes, a confrontation is not about convincing a privileged person that oppression exists and that they've just done something oppressive. It's just about opposing that person's behaviour, and making sure they know you oppose it. Sometimes it's not about patiently teaching them about oppression in the hope that they will eventually "get it." Subordinating your own sense of injury and indignation for the sake of the feelings of the offender just perpetuates the power structure that makes their behaviour oppressive. </div><div><br />
</div><div>The requirement that one be tactful or kind when speaking out against bigotry is a way of shielding the privileged from knowing what the impact of their behaviour is on others. It makes one complicit in maintaining the willful ignorance of the privileged. I reject the requirement of tact. Bigotry hurts me, and it hurts the marginalized people that I'm trying to stand with. If someone says or does something oppressive, then they should have to deal with the consequences, and not be coddled.</div><div><br />
</div><div>If someone does something bigoted or oppressive, and I call them out, and it becomes a confrontation, then the confrontation is no longer about them. It's about me. It's about asserting myself and setting my boundaries and making it clear that I will not stand for their bullshit. In that situation, tactfulness or lack thereof is entirely besides the point. </div><div><br />
</div><div>One of my friends from high school has told me a few times now that she's proud of how assertive I've become. </div><div><br />
</div></div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com43tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-70786579473955724112011-09-09T15:07:00.000-04:002011-09-09T15:07:45.336-04:00Tumblr Round-Up: Sept 1 - 9<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr2ls3WfJ71qhe42co1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lr2ls3WfJ71qhe42co1_500.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://blaisingfeminist.tumblr.com/post/9861745141">via</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><u><b><br />
</b></u></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><u><b><br />
</b></u></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><u><b>Stuff I wrote/commented on</b></u></span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9782958250/catholic-answers-on-cafeteria-catholicism">Commentary</a> on the idea that Catholics can't "pick and choose" what to believe.</li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9843731337/can-anyone-recommend-some-adventure-fantasy-novels">Can anyone recommend</a> progressive adventure/fantasy novels?</li>
<li>I am now <a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9884594546/watching-episode-1-1-of-lost-girl-right-now">watching <i>Lost Girl</i></a></li>
<li>Thoughts on what we can label as <a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9948854288/unfriendlyatheist-nikkirani-i-dont-get">religious oppression</a></li>
<li>More thoughts on <a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9960512932/abaldwin360-imagine-a-world-without-religion">religion as the cause of 9/11</a> (tl;dr: it's not)</li>
<li>The US is really to blame for <a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9966055528/nickleback-is-planning-on-releasing-another-album">Nickleback</a></li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9997478870/interviewer-so-why-do-you-write-these-strong">Some thoughts on <i>Buffy the Vampire Slayer</i></a></li>
</ul><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><u>Reblogged</u></b></span><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24gmq1pi">Why do you have to nitpick?</a></li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9714383522/hey-its-okay">Hey, it's okay...</a></li>
<li>A<a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9716576918/propaganda-for-life-jerm4papa-image-two"> take-down</a> of a post about a study on the connection between abortion and mental disorders. And<a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9758962743/foradayofsky-jerm4papa-largest-ever-study"> another take-down</a>.</li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9760674190/canadians-attitude-toward-u-s-shifts-from-envy-to">Canadian's attitude towards the US change</a></li>
<li>A discussion of <a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9760730152/i-sauntered-vaguely-downwards-artsyarty">marriage as a human right</a></li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9767337307">What is this even?</a> I don't know, it makes me happy.</li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9794471529/temenuga-in-1808-napoleon-running-out-of">Juana Galan</a></li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9806544432/kateoplis-overworked-america-12-charts-that">A chart </a>comparing labour standards around the world.</li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9831332406/tw-rape-i-really-hate-when-people-use-the-word-rape">Opinions are not shiny, sparkly magical unicorn eggs that nobody is allowed to disagree with or destroy with logic</a>.</li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9843086818/thefremen-list-of-rape-myths-tw-rape-rape">List of rape myths</a></li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9921790785/literally-irl-re-privilege">Re: Privilege</a></li>
<li>You don't owe <a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9937053737/you-dont-owe-prettiness-to-anyone-not-to-your">prettiness</a> to anyone</li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9948369310/georgechamoun-this-is-what-ive-been-working-on">Iconatomy</a></li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9960668524/i-sauntered-vaguely-downwards-apparently-people-only">On being anti-"political correctness"</a></li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9965408542/and-when-progress-for-women-comes-at-the-expense">Inclusive feminism</a> is the only feminism that makes any sense</li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9965532488/danny-glovers-haiti-film-lacked-white-heroes">Danny Glover's Haiti film</a> lacked "white heroes", producers said</li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9966526386/this-actually-made-me-pump-my-fist-and-go-ha">Stephen Harper is the Annoying Childhood Friend</a></li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9967054845/9-11-changed-the-world">"9/11 Changed the World"</a></li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9967244059/timetruthhumor-36-reasons-why-you-should-thank">36 Reasons Why You Should Thank A Union</a></li>
<li><a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/9996968270/the-transfeminist-manifesto">The Transfeminist Manifesto</a></li>
</ul></div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-12776717421438228932011-09-02T15:13:00.000-04:002011-09-02T15:13:23.329-04:00Stupid Products That Endorse Sexism<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Get ready for me complaining about "trivial" stuff. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEuOz_B79InDNLnBJRh-J1h4ConX651MzBXUOrXL_atWOxXCf2UieuOpwTB1MwAWq14N9CoED5woQ64g0p8HtCOV-ZjBNZawUcnJ3fljFgDnheKYvwKvAWtOxnzOgkicoCcVWzD8dbKOd9/s1600/IMG00069-20110825-1201.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEuOz_B79InDNLnBJRh-J1h4ConX651MzBXUOrXL_atWOxXCf2UieuOpwTB1MwAWq14N9CoED5woQ64g0p8HtCOV-ZjBNZawUcnJ3fljFgDnheKYvwKvAWtOxnzOgkicoCcVWzD8dbKOd9/s320/IMG00069-20110825-1201.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Okay, so this is an in-store ad, not a product. It's back-to-school time, so Loblaws is providing easy lunch box fixes, "with busy mom in mind". Because care-work is for moms only. And of course she's busy because she's the "super-mom"; the woman who can do it all, who has a job, but still does most of the child care and housekeeping herself because that's women's work. And <i>of course</i>, all kids have moms, none of them are raised by single dads, or other relatives, or have two dads. Nope. </div><a name='more'></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi57KAj2rHCMYQaWGz6L1G8nY2LdlwJxRxH0TRhmPPktyBPejodtmbniiq0cHgRIQXsA3fiER-wnt_bPe3qoh1K5DTjuKbdgkneMM8tcQSa1ui8uiVwaVjr5KExU7ibiTihK86NxV01S7Vz/s1600/IMG00148-20110827-1408.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi57KAj2rHCMYQaWGz6L1G8nY2LdlwJxRxH0TRhmPPktyBPejodtmbniiq0cHgRIQXsA3fiER-wnt_bPe3qoh1K5DTjuKbdgkneMM8tcQSa1ui8uiVwaVjr5KExU7ibiTihK86NxV01S7Vz/s320/IMG00148-20110827-1408.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">"Daughters are a Blessing / So precious to the heart / Full of laughter, Full of fun / Loved... (something I can't read)"</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">"Grandma / You are someone I can count on / Someone who really cares / someone who always sees the best / And has a Heart of Love to share"</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So get these beloved women in your life a dish towel/oven mitt/pot holder set, covered in pink flowers and sappy verses, to show them you really care. To remind them of how much you love them as they make you a sandwich. I know I would really appreciate getting kitchen linens that look like a Hallmark store exploded on them. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWxfXKoa4nl4lET7m487pFvhI-UqttjaaPAr255OprbrSevZkkZjaoxZ2D4thgO7zAM-gTQyVNixQaGK_A_WNbUHut-ht7P0fR-qsj7eXZ_t3BAmGtivf2r9UIbVmII_LFV1FS0QdLjki-/s1600/IMG00147-20110827-1401.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWxfXKoa4nl4lET7m487pFvhI-UqttjaaPAr255OprbrSevZkkZjaoxZ2D4thgO7zAM-gTQyVNixQaGK_A_WNbUHut-ht7P0fR-qsj7eXZ_t3BAmGtivf2r9UIbVmII_LFV1FS0QdLjki-/s320/IMG00147-20110827-1401.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Oh look, it's a piggy bank, labeled "His Money" and "Her Money"! When you put a coin in the slot, it starts off as "His Money" and then goes directly into "Her Money"! It's funny because men work for a living and women are money grubbing bitches!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">These are things that are supposed to be cute and funny, presenting stereotypes and gender norms as truths that are just taken for granted. Yeah, these are little things, but it just shows how our society is marinating in sexism. </div></div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-50392686194820488702011-09-01T12:44:00.001-04:002011-09-01T12:45:11.908-04:00Tumbler Roundup: Aug 24- 31, 2011<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">My Posts</span></u></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Thoughts on Lady Gaga's appearance as<a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24eqb892"> Jo Calderone at the VMAs</a></li>
<li>Updates on <a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24ee9fpo">the health</a> of <a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24eklb8s">my dog</a></li>
<li><a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24c7dk85">I went to view Jack Layton's casket</a></li>
<li>Messages in chalk at Nathan Phillips sqare: <a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24aeod0g">1</a>, <a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24afoqpd">2</a>, <a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24agsbns">3</a>, <a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24ahz3qs">4</a>, <a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24ajapno">5</a>, <a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24akgwru">6</a></li>
</ul><br />
<br />
<b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Reblogged</span></u></b><br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;"><li>A take-down of someone who thought "<a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24f9k6la">Slutwalk is fucking stupid</a>" (<b>trigger warning:</b> rape, rape culture)</li>
<li><a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24f2v9sz">Dangerous White Stereotypes</a></li>
<li><a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24enq1av">Your friends are not your audience: A disturbing lesson on perspective</a> (<b>trigger warning:</b> rape, rape culture)</li>
<li>More messages in chalk from Nathan Phillips Square:<a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24bjq4xl"> 1</a>,<a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24bjpt4j"> 2</a>, <a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24bjpig2">3</a>,<a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24bjozah"> 4</a>, <a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24bjotkp">5</a>,<a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24bjogjv"> 6</a>,<a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24bjnr4t"> 7</a></li>
<li><a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24b8e6yc">I wish I was beautiful</a></li>
<li>The <a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24b5taxu">Not As Bad As I Could Be</a> Award!</li>
<li><a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24at129k">Remembering Jack Layton at Nathan Phillips Square</a></li>
<li><a href="http://tumblr.com/xl24a8gm3x">How to talk to privileged people about oppression you've experienced</a></li>
</ul><br />
<br />
<br />
</div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-55973024976391000902011-08-23T01:48:00.001-04:002011-08-23T01:55:32.620-04:00The Loss Of A Leader<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVWaww0nXwZtCGKBsu0V4ff2s71o29dYBv0sjLZ0f-dQcbkIlaIznB91G4PCsxhmVyZIUazo7sdjNv5g7Piem-LY6zVDah-TpglxHHoXc_3d8Py9XtTv5rhMnQ_m6fIH5wIkt6nD-y335d/s1600/button2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVWaww0nXwZtCGKBsu0V4ff2s71o29dYBv0sjLZ0f-dQcbkIlaIznB91G4PCsxhmVyZIUazo7sdjNv5g7Piem-LY6zVDah-TpglxHHoXc_3d8Py9XtTv5rhMnQ_m6fIH5wIkt6nD-y335d/s200/button2.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />
<br />
During the last election, I officially became a member of the NDP, but I've identified with the NDP since highschool. I had been impressed with Jack Layton as a politician ever since he became leader of the NDP and started to improve the fortunes of the party. And after he gave a talk at my law school a couple of years ago, where he went overtime answering detailed questions about policy, I have never trusted, never had as much faith in, as much hope for, a political figure as much as Mr. Layton.<br />
<br />
He reasoned the same way I do. He thought about the impact of policies on marginalized people. He prioritized the interests of low-income families. I wanted him to be our next Prime Minister so badly, and after this last election, it seemed like that goal was within reach.<br />
<br />
I'm afraid of what will happen in Canadian politics without Layton's galvanizing presence on the left, without his energy. I'm afraid that the Liberals and NDP will flounder as the Conservatives become the new "governing party".<br />
<br />
But as Jack wrote in his last<a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/story/2011/08/22/pol-layton-last-letter.html"> letter to Canadians</a>, "Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair."<br />
<br />
Despite the almost overwhelming sense of unfairness that he died before he could fully realize his potential and ambition, I have to acknowledge that what Jack Layton did accomplish was pretty awesome. And it's up to those of us who share his ambitions to take his accomplishments and run with them. So many are cynical about politics, but through political involvement we can build a better society and a better country. Jack almost got us there, we just have to go the rest of the way.</div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-8735174457296532062011-06-29T14:16:00.000-04:002011-06-29T14:16:49.361-04:00What Ever Happened To...?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Hello there!<br />
<br />
Basically, I have been going through some relationship turmoil, my sister is getting married, I'm going out of the country on vacation for the first time in years, and when I get back I'm moving.<br />
<br />
Which is all to say that I've been too preoccupied to even think about writing. But! I am not going to let this blog fade away into oblivion. I have a lot to say, and this is where I plan to say it. So stay tuned! Regular posting will resume in about a month or so.<br />
<br />
In the meantime, here in Hamilton Wesley Wigglebottom:<br />
<br />
</div><img width="300" height="225" src="http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/1306724682578.gif?w=300&h=225" class="attachment-full" alt="1306724682578 Whatever happens, dont say Awwww (14 GIFS)" title="1306724682578">Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-81446591504182566462011-05-02T22:56:00.000-04:002011-05-02T22:56:20.189-04:00Fucking Fuck Fuck Fuck<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">First Toronto, now Canada.<br />
<br />
Ontario, I fucking hate you. What the hell.<br />
<br />
It looks like I'm going to have a Conservative MP. I didn't think it would happen.<br />
<br />
I guess it's time to get activist. </div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-67444654974858563612011-05-02T12:39:00.000-04:002011-05-02T12:39:42.637-04:00Weekly Joy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/nS-mza4QDEw?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br />
A great send-up of ads whose main product is a certain standard of masculinity. </div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-14136262751590392942011-04-25T15:51:00.000-04:002011-04-25T15:51:57.560-04:00This Election is Important<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I am freaking out over the possibility that <a href="http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/politics/ottawa-notebook/strength-in-ontario-puts-squeaker-of-a-majority-within-harpers-reach/article1997430/">Harper might win a majority</a>. Because he is doing well in Ontario. ONTARIO WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.<br />
<br />
Please, please, everyone do what you can to prevent a Harper majority from happening. Talk to people about why it's important to vote and why it's important to not vote Conservative. The Conservatives are garbage on just about every issue you can think of. There are resources and information about why Harper is bad for Canada, <a href="http://harpergov.tumblr.com/resources">here</a>, <a href="http://shitharperdid.ca.nyud.net/">here</a>, <a href="http://sowhatdidimiss.blogspot.com/">here</a>,<a href="http://100reasons.ca/"> here</a>, and<a href="http://compellingcomics.justsomeguy.com/CanadaVotes2011/Canada_Links_2.html"> here</a>. Use social media, make reasons for not voting Conservative your facebook status, tweet about is, write to newspapers, call radio stations, talk to your relatives, friends, co-workers and neighbours. If you can convince one person to vote who otherwise might not have, or if you can convince one person to not vote Conservative, that is an accomplishment.<br />
<br />
This is going to be a very tense week. I probably won't post much until after May 2. </div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-38037523663366221352011-04-21T01:22:00.000-04:002011-04-21T01:22:06.079-04:00An Anti-Choice Fantasy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Remember those <a href="http://www.babyonthewaycollection.com/">greeting cards</a> for expectant mothers that were <a href="http://www.harpyness.com/2010/03/01/another-creepy-anti-choice-weapon-greeting-cards-from-your-fetus/">ostensibly from her fetus</a>?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyo5jSlL2ZWw1Gn4KRyjv0i_TsxaEnKHENCluMCMDsI4judxbqDe4XwV1lJbOuRpLqm9ezgE3VGiQL84T29ZoxrK56oniniBEr2wHMCN6f4i1fabrQKd2mDcoDspylxK1sE_3hH3kwuTtK/s1600/3_Month_web2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyo5jSlL2ZWw1Gn4KRyjv0i_TsxaEnKHENCluMCMDsI4judxbqDe4XwV1lJbOuRpLqm9ezgE3VGiQL84T29ZoxrK56oniniBEr2wHMCN6f4i1fabrQKd2mDcoDspylxK1sE_3hH3kwuTtK/s320/3_Month_web2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ie. these things.</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
Someone took this idea a step further, and wrote a series of letters to a woman from her fetus. Her aborted fetus.<br />
<br />
I'm not exactly sure where it came from, or who wrote it. You can see it on Facebook <a href="http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=167630111439&topic=15392">here</a>. I found it on Tumblr, but the original post, and many of the reblogged posts, have since been deleted (in some cases, the entire Tumblr account was deleted). Probably because the post was accompanied by an image of a bloody fetus. (Which I did not reproduce here, for obvious reasons.)<br />
<br />
Anyhoo, the whole thing is, in various measures, bizarre, creepy, patronizing, ignorant, insulting, and ridiculous. It's horrific. But in a manner that makes it hard to look away. So instead, I dissect it. As one might dissect a fetal pig.<br />
<br />
<b>The following includes an account of domestic violence. Just so you know. </b><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote>Hi, Mommy. I’m your baby. You don’t know me yet, I’m only a few weeks old. You’re going to find out about me soon, though, I promise.</blockquote>This is what an embryo looks like at three weeks:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://php.med.unsw.edu.au/embryology/images/8/8b/Stage9_sem1c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://php.med.unsw.edu.au/embryology/images/8/8b/Stage9_sem1c.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Doesn't really look like it's capable of holding a conversation, does it?<br />
<blockquote>Let me tell you some things about me. </blockquote>Tell what? Nothing has happened to it. It has nothing to tell.<br />
<blockquote>My name is John, </blockquote>I'm all for kids choosing their own names. But at this point, the embryo has never heard of names, is incapable of conceptualizing names. It's incapable of conceptualizing much of anything.<br />
<blockquote>and I’ve got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don’t have it yet, but I will when I’m born. </blockquote>Interestingly, the author of this piece hits on the idea that John is, at this point, just a <i>potential</i> person. Unfortunately, the idea does not take hold.<br />
<blockquote>I’m going to be your only child, and you’ll call me your one and only. </blockquote>How the fuck does John the Embryo know this? Is he psychic?<br />
<br />
I think this is highly indicative of a certain anti-choice mind-set. In that the woman literally has no choices in her life. She's unable to decide whether she's going to have other kids or not. It's set in stone, she has no agency.<br />
<blockquote>I’m going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We’ll help each other, and love each other. </blockquote>Your unplanned pregnancy is the silver lining to an abusive relationship!<br />
<blockquote>I want to be a doctor when I grow up.</blockquote><i>... an abortion doctor! </i><br />
<br />
LOL. Anyways. Isn't that a nice, normative, white-bread ambition for Embryo John? Who, if carried to term and born alive, would not have a vast array of life paths to choose from and explore. No, Embryo John is a Future Doctor.<br />
<br />
To me, this also is indicative of a kind of conservative (or societyl-wide) tendency to not value children as full human beings, but to value them as future adults... but that's a topic for another post.<br />
<blockquote>You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn’t wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already.</blockquote>So here's the thing. This is a story about a wanted pregnancy. Not every pregnancy is wanted. A story about an unwanted pregnancy might instead read,<br />
<br />
"You found out about me today, Mommy! A wave of dread washed over over you, and all you could do was withdraw and avoid everyone you know. Your plans for the future vanished, and life was bleak and hopeless. You feel like I'm a parasite living inside you, and you want to punch yourself in the abdomen until I'm dead."<br />
<br />
It is a tragedy when someone who wants a pregnancy has to terminate it. But a pregnancy is not a happy thing for everyone, as much as anti-choicers insist otherwise.<br />
<br />
And considering the fact that this is a wanted pregnancy, wouldn't the decision to have an abortion have been a hard one to come to? Wouldn't the expectant mother have considered every other option before concluding that she had to terminate? She herself being in the best position to determine what's the best course of action for her? And woudn't it be cruel, then to assault this woman with images of bloody fetuses (which originally adorned this post), and torment her by concocting a personality for the child she wanted but couldn't have?<br />
<br />
I would think so. But let's see what happens next...<br />
<blockquote>Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! …He wasn’t happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don’t think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don’t think I understand yet. </blockquote>Yeah, I don't think Embryo John would be able to understand <i>any</i> of that yet. The way the character is constructed is bizarre. Does the author actually think that fetuses have this level of awareness? Or are they deliberately being misleading and manipulative?<br />
<blockquote>You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. </blockquote>Forcing someone to terminate a pregnancy against their will is just as much a crime against individual physical integrity as is forced child bearing.<br />
<br />
But that's not what anti-choicers are really talking about. This is just another way of denying that women who get abortions have agency, that they thought it out for themselves, and know what they're doing. They either have to villanize women who seek abortions, or paint them as hapless victims. They go with the victim angle so that they can claim that they're on women's side. They claim that deep down, no woman wants to have an abortion, and anti-choicers are just standing up for women to protect them from the evil abortion industry.<br />
<br />
Uh huh.<br />
<blockquote>I was okay… but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That’s a sound I don’t like. It doesn’t make me feel good. It made me cry, too. </blockquote>Really? After this woman was assaulted by her partner you're going to tell her that her crying upset her embryo? Is there any way that the writer of this mess could try to make her feel worse?<br />
<blockquote>He said sorry after, and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I’m not sure if I do. It wasn’t right. You say he loves you… why would he hurt you? I don’t like it, Mommy.</blockquote>There is! By victim-blaming a woman in an abusive relationship. Why do you keep forgiving him? Why don't you just leave? ...because of a whole host of reasons that neither the writer nor Embryo John understand, because they have never experienced an abusive relationship. Reasons like dependency and "battered woman" syndrome.<br />
<br />
Fuck you, Embryo John.<br />
<blockquote>Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you’re so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes, and you were so so so happy. </blockquote><div><div>And again, the difference between a wanted and an unwanted pregnancy matters. If it's an unwanted pregnancy, it'll be terminated before you start to show. <a href="http://www.prochoice.org/about_abortion/facts/women_who.html">88% of all abortions are in the first trimester</a>, over half before week nine. </div><div><br />
</div><div>That is, before the fetus looks as baby-like as the one in the photo I cut out from this post. People have parasitic fetuses (which are technically alive) that are more developed than this stage. </div></div><div><blockquote>You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I’m happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.</blockquote><div>So, yeah, Johnny Fetus is not a representative case. </div><div><br />
</div><div>If this was an unwanted pregnancy, then the words that the writer is putting in Johnny Fetus' mouth start to sound really creepy. Almost Nice-Guyish. The similarities are there - neither really think of women as full human beings, just as useful bits of anatomy. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Not to mention the, "I will be perfect" bit. That seems problematic and ableist to me; but I'm not really equipped to speak to that. Feel free to in the comments. </div><blockquote>I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.</blockquote><div>What is this emotional blackmail shit? </div><blockquote>Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn’t talking right. He said he didn’t want you. I don’t know why, but that’s what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won’t let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. </blockquote><div>It's the job of the unborn fetus to protect it's mother. Why? Because that fetus is a dude. Holy gender norms, Batman!</div><blockquote>Daddy is bad. I don’t care if you think that he is a good person, I think he’s bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn’t want us. He doesn’t like me. Why doesn’t he like me, Mommy?</blockquote><div>More with the victim blaming. This is less about deciding to get an abortion and more about being in an abusive relationship.</div><blockquote>You didn’t talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?</blockquote><div>She's taking your advice, kiddo. She's leaving "Daddy" - but that means that you have to <i>DIE!</i> </div><blockquote>It’s been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven’t talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don’t you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don’t you do that when you’re awake, any more?</blockquote><div><div style="text-align: center;"><img alt="I C WHAT U DID Gif - I C WHAT U DID " height="169" src="http://chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/icwhutudidtherep1.gif" title="I C WHAT U DID Gif - I C WHAT U DID " width="200" /></div></div><blockquote>I’m 21 weeks old today, Mommy. </blockquote><div>Yeah, very few abortions happen at this point, mostly just for medical necessity. This story really doesn't jive with any representative data at all. </div><blockquote>Aren’t you proud of me? </blockquote><div>Because she should be proud of the fetus, and not herself, for making it through five months of pregnancy. Childbearing is so hard on the fetus, doncha know. </div><blockquote>We’re going somewhere today, and it’s somewhere new. </blockquote><div>Because a fetus would be aware of something like that? </div><blockquote>I’m excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you’re as excited as I am. I can’t wait.</blockquote><div>LOL. Nice use of dramatic irony. It's like a dog being all excited about going for a car ride, only to end up at the vet. </div><blockquote>…Mommy, I’m getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don’t know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something’s going to happen soon. I’m really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!</blockquote><div>Okay, this is sick. This seems to have been written so that pro-lifers can imagine a woman who got an abortion reading it, and being emotionally tortured. So that the pro-lifers can feel all good and holy.</div><blockquote>Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!</blockquote><div>I can't help but imagine a comically over-the-top death scene here, akin to the Wicked Witch of the West. </div><blockquote>Don’t worry Mommy, I’m safe. I’m in heaven with the angels now. </blockquote><div>Actually, according to many denominations of Christianity (and I'm assuming the author of this is Christian), Johnny Fetus would be destined for hell because he's unbaptised. Just sayin'.</div><div><blockquote>They told me what you did, and they said it’s called an abortion.</blockquote></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Dramatic Chipmunk Animated Myspace Graphic thumbnail" height="284" src="http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd50/lcdlove/funny_animal.gif" width="320" /></div><div><blockquote>Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don’t you love me any more? </blockquote></div><div>Why I hate this thing so much: It's about a wanted pregnancy.The woman in the story wanted the pregnancy, but felt she <i>had</i> to terminate. It was not an easy decision for her, nor was it one she was happy with. In fact, it's implied that her boyfriend <i>forced</i> her to get an abortion. So why is the story so focused on guilting the would-be mother?</div><div><br />
</div><div>This doesn't apply to unwanted pregnancies at all. It's like, no I don't love you, I never did. I never wanted anything to do with you. </div><div><blockquote>Why did you get rid of me? </blockquote></div><div>Um... because she had to. I thought that was well established? Or maybe it was because she wanted to. It really doesn't matter why. You're not entitled to sustain yourself on another person's body, kid. No one is. </div><div><blockquote>I’m really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart.</blockquote></div><div>And another frustrating thing - the characterization of Johnny Fetus as someone who know what other people are, or has any awareness of the world outside himself. It makes this whole thing pretty absurd. </div><div><blockquote>Why don’t you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! </blockquote></div><div>Yeah, so do people who need bone marrow transplants, but we don't drag folks off the street, make them do a blood test to see if they're a match, and then force them to be donors. We don't even force people to donate blood, which is far less invasive. Hell, we don't even force people to donate organs when they're dead. </div><div><br />
</div><div>And what is that "Please!" supposed to accomplish? "Mommy" can't bring you back from "heaven", Johnny boy. </div><div><br />
</div><div>And isn't heaven supposed to be better than earthly life anyways? </div><div><blockquote>It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn’t I love you enough? </blockquote></div><div>Okay, now Johnny Fetus is starting to sound like a stalker. </div><div><blockquote>Please say you’ll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor.</blockquote></div><div>As I mentioned before - fetuses don't know what any of those things are. They aren't aware of the world. They don't have any relationships. They don't have any aspriations. They don't have any experiences. </div><div><br />
</div><div>That's why a fetus =/= a born, living person. </div><div><blockquote>I don’t want to be here, I want you to love me again! I’m really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!</blockquote></div><div>Oh for fuck's sake... </div><div><blockquote>I love you, Mommy. </blockquote><blockquote>Every abortion is just…<br />
One more heart that was stopped.<br />
Two more eyes that will never see.<br />
Two more hands that will never touch.<br />
Two more legs that will never run.<br />
One more mouth that will never speak.</blockquote></div><div>But since Johnny Fetus never experienced those things, I guess he isn't really going to miss them.<br />
<br />
*sniff* So moving. </div></div><br />
<br />
</div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-29233735531872223972011-04-09T18:13:00.000-04:002011-04-09T18:13:42.537-04:00Look South To See Harper's Vision For Canada<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe_MyjeGf1_3fBXLgfOph_kwAbZA5Y3SHGWNkmOOJQKkSf3f0qisKZ3LVtgq947JxumI280bLVfyv_GRJtVOkH8WL6BUu2Zt5PzUBb61pn9WMAbF9QkhUg1Wyv5GP4c3NW-sxTQpqQ46Y9/s1600/flags-USA_Canada.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="156" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe_MyjeGf1_3fBXLgfOph_kwAbZA5Y3SHGWNkmOOJQKkSf3f0qisKZ3LVtgq947JxumI280bLVfyv_GRJtVOkH8WL6BUu2Zt5PzUBb61pn9WMAbF9QkhUg1Wyv5GP4c3NW-sxTQpqQ46Y9/s320/flags-USA_Canada.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
I would like all Canadians to take a look at what's going on south of the border right now. The war on women's reproductive rights. The war on unions. The anti-environmentalism. The anti-intellectualism. The outright class warfare. Look at what Republicans are making of our neighbour.<br />
<br />
And remember: These are the people that Harper takes his cues from. When the USA went into Iraq, Harper wanted to go in with them. When it looked like a Democrat was going to win the presidential election, the PMO tried to discredit him. When US politicians started using "socialism" as a dirty word, Harper tried to use it the same way, to make the NDP look scary. When right-wing USians got huffy about their census, he started a census controversy here. His environmental policy is explicitly "We'll do whatever the US does". He even jacks <a href="http://youtu.be/fGXGwr3nr7g">Republican campaign ads</a>.<br />
<br />
The Republicans that are bent on making life a soulless grind for all but the richest USians are the people that Harper admires. Like he admires George W. Bush. (And seriously, how many people still admire Bush?).<br />
<br />
Harper wants Canada to be like the USA. So look hard at the US. Do you want that? </div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-83218205272659486222011-04-04T11:48:00.000-04:002011-04-04T11:48:03.643-04:00Canadians Against Harper<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://anyonebutharper.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/vote-for-health-care-a-priority.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://anyonebutharper.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/vote-for-health-care-a-priority.jpg" width="246" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Find more posters <a href="http://anyonebutharper.wordpress.com/posters-2/">here</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
Canadians!<br />
<br />
Are you concerned about the outcome of the upcoming election? Are you interested in something simple you can do to help prevent another Harper government?<br />
<br />
Then head to <a href="http://anyonebutharper.wordpress.com/">AnyoneButHarper</a> - a site where you can download printable posters, each displaying a simple fact or two illustrating why the Conservatives are bad for Canada on any given issue. Are people in your area concerned mostly with the economy? There's a poster for that. With farming? There's a poster for that. With immigration? There's a poster for that too. Find the issue you think is most relevant to your neighbourhood, download the pdf, and print out posters to put up.<br />
<br />
It doesn't take long to spread a little information. </div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-56053521350440701162011-04-03T21:38:00.004-04:002011-04-04T00:10:36.860-04:00Quick Thoughts on Slutwalk<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkxXAL7SBeweETIKddPhA555aXkbPFyX3yU3GMAH8EbBA0eDUboG1uyTUauEljF37YQ9Wz9RRk0V1zNMvWp6SVhmSLaVfKQtZvH05akOvh8tVjcoDZqp38wOdtLzAcpD-8SXBJAYM-O9F5/s1600/IMG_00372.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkxXAL7SBeweETIKddPhA555aXkbPFyX3yU3GMAH8EbBA0eDUboG1uyTUauEljF37YQ9Wz9RRk0V1zNMvWp6SVhmSLaVfKQtZvH05akOvh8tVjcoDZqp38wOdtLzAcpD-8SXBJAYM-O9F5/s400/IMG_00372.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The crowd congregating at Queen's Park</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
I went to <a href="http://www.slutwalktoronto.com/">Slutwalk</a> today.<br />
<br />
The crowd was great! Tons of people of all ages, men and women and gender queer, people of all colours, and sexual orientations. The signs people made were clever and thoughtful. I loved seeing the outfits that people chose - lots of slutty clothes. There were spontaneous outbursts of chanting; and some folks brought percussion instruments and were playing an awesome beat that people were dancing to.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUM3i7Sbs9awuQD8x_GsekUZAgLbHdxGPXYPT36MxMkg6fGf7Debj5fMY43HHrmDe3xPGHTmJMhrbG6AkpsATscIYCdfptKJwFUobHcWbskOMgD7F_pqJeYi6Tw_LsG6rmcDRBoAMzh5LL/s1600/IMG_00412.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUM3i7Sbs9awuQD8x_GsekUZAgLbHdxGPXYPT36MxMkg6fGf7Debj5fMY43HHrmDe3xPGHTmJMhrbG6AkpsATscIYCdfptKJwFUobHcWbskOMgD7F_pqJeYi6Tw_LsG6rmcDRBoAMzh5LL/s400/IMG_00412.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><br />
<br />
The range of speakers was pretty good. The organizers (Sonya Barnett and Alyssa Teekah) talked about the word "slut" and why we were reclaiming it, and about sexual assault on university campuses (especially York); and about the institutional power that we were opposing. Deb Singh of the Toronto Rape Crisis Centre talked about working with survivors and their experiences with the Toronto police blaming them for their assaults. Michael Kaufman of the White Ribbon Campaign talked about the responsibility that men have to discourage rape and to combat rape culture.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.sgmlaw.com/en/about/JaneDoev.MetropolitanTorontoMunicipalityCommissionersofPolice.cfm">Jane Doe</a> also spoke. I was so impressed with her. She has such a positive, energetic, forceful personality. I had wondered what kind of character it took to sue a police force, and now I know. She spoke about the problems with the current police training programs, and issued a challenge to mayor Rob Ford to institute real change.<br />
<br />
I teared up several times.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUyZEdNezXsWkHQeocjRvpPMtz6q31vfGI3xgs0lOcmoQkC-N5hpiUE5aoUedUGrqXsswDsx9bkZW2H7hy8USs0PURfZe3U120JnIg2Iie4D2fMf1NReVrxRFGdSZibD2R-IUGhNZdBkk-/s1600/IMG_0046.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUyZEdNezXsWkHQeocjRvpPMtz6q31vfGI3xgs0lOcmoQkC-N5hpiUE5aoUedUGrqXsswDsx9bkZW2H7hy8USs0PURfZe3U120JnIg2Iie4D2fMf1NReVrxRFGdSZibD2R-IUGhNZdBkk-/s400/IMG_0046.JPG" width="300" /></a></div><br />
<br />
I've been getting pissed off at feminists on the internet recently for massive intersectionality fails, and failures to check their privilege. So it was encouraging to see the organizers, as young feminists, making an effort to be inclusive and acknowledge all the various groups that are effected by rape, and who were at the walk, and who the organizers worked with.<br />
<br />
I came away from the walk pumped and excited and feeling really positive. There's a huge group of us who care about equality, and who are demanding change.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX_Wy4_Kz829v_pwjYXgjbFCR1S2VJDxPbdi7H9eT-qd2FVGRSjVxQ_kt6diexEP3GAENvROM4AZy_7w7RGxhGNBlXcAZeduRpRaR1mytkdY1i1FuE8-tZ40Lg30JN-6oHMfdRrtraag1i/s1600/IMG_0049.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjX_Wy4_Kz829v_pwjYXgjbFCR1S2VJDxPbdi7H9eT-qd2FVGRSjVxQ_kt6diexEP3GAENvROM4AZy_7w7RGxhGNBlXcAZeduRpRaR1mytkdY1i1FuE8-tZ40Lg30JN-6oHMfdRrtraag1i/s400/IMG_0049.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">On the march</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
All photos were taken by me.<br />
For news coverage, better photos, and video, see <a href="http://www.citytv.com/toronto/citynews/news/local/article/122749--officer-s-comments-prompt-slutwalk">CityTV</a>, Toronto Star <a href="http://photogallery.thestar.com/968433">gallery</a> and <a href="http://www.thestar.com/news/article/968466--sluts-march-against-sexual-assault-stereotypes?bn=1">article</a>, the <a href="http://www.torontosun.com/news/torontoandgta/2011/04/03/17859866.html">Toronto Sun</a> (stay away from the comments), and <a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/story/2011/04/03/slut-walk-toronto.html">CBC</a></div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-49314035124460878322011-03-30T03:46:00.000-04:002011-03-30T03:46:55.110-04:00Instersectional Oppression, Intersectional Privilege: White Female Privilege<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.memegenerator.net/Privilege-Denying-Girl/File/282904/Privilege-Denying-Girl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://images.memegenerator.net/Privilege-Denying-Girl/File/282904/Privilege-Denying-Girl.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
The existence of white female privilege is being debated. (See <a href="http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2011/03/24/read-this-afterthoughts-on-alexandra-wallace-and-white-female-privilege/">the comments here</a>, or just read <a href="http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2011/03/24/read-this-afterthoughts-on-alexandra-wallace-and-white-female-privilege/">Renee's take</a> on the whole thing). I see the debate as an example of the continued failure of white feminists to grasp intersectionality.<br />
<div><br />
</div><div>As I wrote<a href="http://hystericalmarissa.blogspot.com/2010/09/go-where-gender-and-ability.html"> here</a>,</div><blockquote>The universal human being is not just male. He is heterosexual, cisgender, able-bodied, middle-class, and - in Europe, North America, Australia and New Zealand - white. We tend to conceptualize every deviation from the default atomistically, even though this does not reflect individual identities or experiences. So, for example, the experiences of a disabled woman of colour do not amount to the experiences of a white able-bodied woman + an able-bodied man of colour + a white disabled man. Her experiences are those of a disabledwomanofcolour. The different aspects of her identity cannot be separated out from each other. </blockquote><div><br />
</div><div>As such, I do not just experience marginalization as a woman. I experience marginalization as a <i>white</i> woman (among many other aspects of my identity).<br />
<br />
<i>By the same token</i>, I do not just have privilege as a white person. I have privilege as a white woman. <i>I have white female privilege</i>.<br />
<br />
That is, there are assumptions made and expectations placed on me that, vis-a-vis my interactions with white men, rather suck. But vis-a-vis my interactions with people of colour - particularly women of colour - those same assumptions and expectations privilege me.<br />
<br />
This is not contradictory. It's about relative power in the kyriarchy. This is intersectionality.<br />
<br />
</div></div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-47775045650611162942011-03-27T21:48:00.000-04:002011-03-27T21:48:33.873-04:00How To Wallow In Your Privilege<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://images.memegenerator.net/Privilege-Denying-Dude/File/238545/Privilege-Denying-Dude.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://images.memegenerator.net/Privilege-Denying-Dude/File/238545/Privilege-Denying-Dude.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
I think my activity on Tumblr is mainly going to consist of cutting up other Tumblr users when they write horribly oblivious things.<br />
<br />
This is something that I wrote on Tumblr today, and I thought I'd share it...</div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">***</div><br />
On March 21 the Admins of <a href="http://fyeahenglishmajorarmadillo.tumblr.com/">Fuck Yeah English Major Armadillo</a> replied to <a href="http://fyeahenglishmajorarmadillo.tumblr.com/post/3997733130/listen-i-understand-that-a-lot-of-the-pictures-you#notes">an ask</a> from <a href="http://eatenplacenta.tumblr.com/">eatenplacenta</a> that let them know that many of the submissions they post are ableist - that is, the ones where Armadillo responds to improper grammar/spelling with rage, violence, and death threats. Personally, I agree that such posts are ableist - and not only that I think they are classist, racist and nativist as well. Also, not very funny. Seriously, it feels like there have been dozens of iterations of the same joke, we get the picture.<br />
<br />
The Admins replied in a kinda-accommodating, kinda-'splainy and justifying way. They could have done better, but they also could have done worse. So, yeah, take that as you will.<br />
<br />
ANYWAYS, today they <a href="http://fyeahenglishmajorarmadillo.tumblr.com/post/4132143379/this-is-not-so-much-a-question-as-a-response-to-a">posted another ask</a>, from bw9, that was written in response to the ask about ablism. The admins posted it without any response or commentary, so one can only assume that they agree with it's content. It's pretty horrible. There was no option to reblog the ask, so I'm just doing a post on it.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
I want to make it clear, though, that I'm not writing this just to pick on some random internet person. I'm writing this because bw9's ask is like a<a href="http://www.derailingfordummies.com/"> Derailing for Dummies</a> bingo card. This highlights many tendencies of privileged people that we can learn from and endeavour to avoid ourselves.<br />
<br />
So, let's start.<br />
<blockquote>This is not so much a question as a response to a question posed on March 21. The post I'm referring to asserted that this blog "reeks of ableism". This was not the first time I'd seen something along those lines brought into the forum, but from what I can recall it's the first time one of the admins has responded. I feel like that question should be addressed by someone without the responsibility to the blog as a whole.<br />
</blockquote>I don't know why bw9 thinks the question "<a href="http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#wrong">should be addressed by someone without responsibility to the blog as a whole</a>". I guess they think that they're doing a service by sharing their opinion with the world. Whatever.<br />
<blockquote>Admins, you're doing a great thing here. Every time I look at this blog I chuckle at least once or twice. To blindside you with such an assertion was totally unwarranted and, in my opinion, a bit mean-spirited.</blockquote>Making bw9 chuckle is great work. Far more important than sparing a thought for marginalized groups and maybe trying <em>not</em> to perpetuate their marginalization. That would deprive bw9 of chuckles. And we can't have that.<br />
<br />
And don't you think <a href="http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#hostile">it's so mean</a> when folks try to assert their humanity/the humanity of disabled people? Standing up for themselves is totally unwarranted. How are you supposed to deal with that?<br />
<blockquote>Your response to the post I'm referring to was as much as one could expect from someone whose creation is being attacked.</blockquote>So some people feel attacked when they see that others want to "<a href="http://fyeahenglishmajorarmadillo.tumblr.com/post/3828140140/picture-background-a-six-piece-pie-style">get their shotgun ready</a>" whenever they open their mouths/write something. When they point out to you that they feel like they're being attacked, <a href="http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#innocent">that's an attack on you!</a><br />
<blockquote>In my opinion, the diction of the question asked of you </blockquote><a href="http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#hostile">TONE ARGUMENT</a><br />
<blockquote>made it nearly impossible to answer without condemning all of the Armadillo's followers who have posted as "ableists", and you managed to avoid that, so good for you.</blockquote>Okay, sarcastic mode is now turned off.<br />
<br />
First of all, "ablist", "racist", "sexist" etc. are not nouns - or at least, they should not be used as nouns. eatenplacenta did not use "ablist" as a noun. It's an adjective that describes an action that marginalizes or oppresses a disabled person.<br />
<br />
It would be ridiculous to argue that Armadillo's followers are all ableists, as that would imply some knowledge of how they feel about disabled people. Their feelings are not the point. What matters is how they treat disabled people. That is, their actions and activities.<br />
<br />
Second, now it's clear what this is all about. bw9 is personally offended by the (non-existent) implication that they are an ableist. This is classic privileged-person behaviour. Someone says that you hurt them, so you recentre the conversation around your feelings and intentions. So the hurt experienced by the marginalized person is never actually addressed, and you get to maintain your privilege. It's like, "You're standing on my foot!"<br />
<br />
"How dare you accuse me of hating feet!" while not actually stepping off the person's foot.<br />
<br />
Third, what's with the scare-quotes?<br />
<blockquote>Now, a response to eatenplacenta: What gives? </blockquote>I think that was made pretty clear in the original ask.<br />
<blockquote>Yes, there are a large number of posts that mock those whose English skills and knowledge are not expansive. The posts range from expressing annoyance to full on hate. They get a bit intense at times, but there is one common theme all the posts share: they're all made in good fun. </blockquote>"I want to blow your head off! Ha ha, <a href="http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#theinternet">just kidding</a>!"<br />
<br />
For bw9 it might all be good fun. But they aren't the one the jokes are targeting. Again, <a href="http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#personally">centring the perspective of the privileged</a> over the perspective of the people who are actually hurt.<br />
<br />
Jokes can be used to threaten. They can be used to bully. They can be used to marginalize. If you have never experienced this, then count yourself lucky. Laughing at someone excludes and others them. This is a pretty easy concept. It's called making fun of someone. I think we can all agree that making fun of someone - laughing at their expense - is a mean thing to do. I shouldn't have to argue this point, and yet here I am.<br />
<blockquote>No one on this blog really feels the urge to murder someone for a minor grammar infraction or an ignorance of classic literature, no matter what they may write. </blockquote>But what they write still expresses hatred. That they stop short of physical violence doesn't make it all okay.<br />
<blockquote>If anyone does, I think all can agree that this person is seriously deranged. </blockquote>And I think such a person would feel that their behaviour is endorsed by such jokes. When you joke about doing harm to someone, it reduces the social restraints against actually harming that person.<br />
<blockquote>One of the best parts of word and language, in my opinion, is the opportunity for humor, something that is consistent in all posts on this blog.</blockquote>Again, bw9 <a href="http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#sensitive">isn't the one being laughed at</a>. Again, classic privileged behaviour - setting oneself up as the arbiter of what is and isn't acceptable behaviour, when they will never experience the adverse effects of the behaviour in question. The privileged person assumes that their assessment of the situation is objectively true and accurate, because their perspective is normalized by society.<br />
<blockquote>The way that you posted was accusatory, which totally defeats the point of your question, which was, let's be honest, an accusation. </blockquote><a href="http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#notlistening">Being accusatory</a> defeats the point of an accusation? I don't get it.<br />
<br />
And what's wrong with accusing someone of something if the substance of the accusation is important?<br />
<blockquote>The concept of ableism, in my mind, is at its most basic one group of people grouping themselves as superior over others.</blockquote>Again, the privileged person defining that which they do not experience. A definition, no less, that focuses on the intentions of the privileged, instead of the experience of the marginalized.<br />
<br />
Moreover, making fun of people's language skills communicates a sense of superiority over the one being made fun of. Even by bw9's definition, some of the Armadillo jokes are ableist.<br />
<blockquote>Whether it be intellectually, physically, or morally, I do agree that it is wrong and is best avoided. </blockquote>Isn't that magnanimous.<br />
<blockquote>When you put yourself on a pedestal above everyone who's posted on the blog, you put yourself into a morally ableist position.</blockquote>What is this? I can't even... By pointing out that some of the Armadillo content was ableist, apparently eatenplacenta positioned themselves as morally superior (?) and hence was being "morally ableist"????<br />
<br />
Wut??????????????!<br />
<br />
I guess this is kind of an awkward attempt at the "you brought up race, so you're the real racist!" <a href="http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#innocent">type of thing</a>?<br />
<blockquote>An accusation of being ableist isn't the best way to try and disparage this particular blog. </blockquote>This is the height of a privileged person centring their own perspective and erasing the marginalized person's concerns entirely. eatenplacenta's goal wasn't to assert the humanity and dignity of disabled people! No, it was to disparage a blog - a blog the bw9 follows. eatenplacenta didn't identify and address ableism! They were just <a href="http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#enjoyit">looking for some way</a> to attack Armadillo!<br />
<blockquote>Granted, your assertion was that it is intellectually ableist, but personally, when I hear the term, physical disability is what comes to mind. </blockquote>And... ?<br />
<blockquote>The Admins and posters have made an effort to post everything in such a way so that everyone who comes across the website can enjoy its content. The descriptions below the posts, if you were unaware, is so that those who use screen readers can fully comprehend the image of the Armadillo. This does not seem like a group of ableists to me.</blockquote>Again, making the conversation about what's in the privileged person's heart, their identity, instead of their actions. Entirely missing the point.<br />
<br />
Analogy: There is an anti-racist white person. In conversation, this person refers to Asians as "Orientals". They are not aware, or have never thought about, the colonialist and exoticizing connotations of that word. They do not hate Asian people, but they still used racist language.<br />
<br />
If someone tells them that it's racist to call Asian people Orientals, they hypothetical anti-racist white person could respond the way that bw9 has responded, and exclaim, "How dare you call me a racist! I make an effort to not be racist, therefore nothing I do is racist!"<br />
<br />
Or, the hypothetical anti-racist white person could <em>actually</em> make an effort to not be racist, and respond, "Oh, I apologize. I will educate myself about racist language and make an effort to not use such language from now on."<br />
<blockquote>I hope I don't come across too harsh in this response. I see the point in your question, I just don't see the point in how you worded it and the manner in which you posted it. It's important to consider how you word things--especially on a site dedicated to English majors--because I don't think you were looking for a fight. </blockquote>bw9 sees eatenplacenta's point. After they have tried to contradict that point. And subsequently talks about tone instead, <a href="http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#angry">in the guise of offering helpful advice</a>. Interestingly, bw9 assumes that eatenplacenta is not also an English major, thereby othering them. <br />
<blockquote>We shouldn't mock people for mockery's sake, but as an outlet for stress and for humor, I'm sure people can agree with me that it's acceptable if it's done without a mean spirit. </blockquote>It's okay to use certain people as verbal punching-bags, as long as it's not mean-spirited. It's the spirit of the thing that matters, not how it feels to be punched.<br />
<blockquote>After all, the blog is filled with as many self-deprecating posts as there are of any other type. </blockquote>Self-deprecating <a href="http://www.derailingfordummies.com/#butbut">is different from</a> mocking others.<br />
<blockquote>Finally, the beauty of the internet and tumblr in particular is that there is an endless amount of sites to waste your time on. If these posts bother you so much, maybe it would be a good idea to see what some of the others have to offer.</blockquote>Another beauty of the internet is that you can interact with people who call you out on your ableist bullshit.<br />
<blockquote>I feel like this is a good discourse to have if both sides stay civil. </blockquote>Who is this, Jon Stewart? Toneargumenttoneargumenttoneargument<br />
<blockquote>In my opinion, you straddled the line, and I'm doing my best to stay on the right side of it. I hope I managed to do that. Now I know I'm an English major, this post has taken up 45 minutes and I have a paper due soon. Thanks again to the Admins for a great site.</blockquote>Finally, bw9 takes the moral high ground over tone. No final words on how disabled people are actually affected by some of the Armadillo content. And then a nice little dismissive farewell.<br />
<br />
Also, since bw9 <em>is</em> an English major I'm going to point out that "straddle" does not mean the same thing as "cross".<br />
<br />
<strong>tl;dr</strong>: You can wallow in your privilege by refusing to acknowledge that marginalized groups even have a perspective, and by making every conversation about you and your feelings.<br />
<br />
Or, you could decide not to do that.<br />
<br />
</div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-27546354062795509672011-03-26T14:01:00.000-04:002011-03-26T14:01:32.450-04:00"The Harper Government" Meme!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_linhqaAqqF1qh9x1l.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_linhqaAqqF1qh9x1l.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><a href="http://harpergov.tumblr.com/">Check it out!</a></b></div></div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-949169573001515032011-03-26T00:59:00.000-04:002011-03-26T00:59:16.699-04:00The Invisibility of Women Warriors<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/198/441229630_4b47bdda77.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/198/441229630_4b47bdda77.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ukrainian guerillas, 1944</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>I was watching a BBC World War II documentary about the Eastern front. It focused quite a bit on the partisan fighting in Ukraine. It was a while before I realized that the only footage they showed, and the only interviews they conducted were with male partisans.<br />
<br />
My grandfather was part of the Ukrainian resistance during the war. And I have researched the activities of Ukrainian nationalists during WWII. So I know that there were more than a few women partisans - one of them even had her autobiography published in English (unfortunately I can't remember what it's called).<br />
<br />
The documentary also showed local communist activists who were targeted by the Nazis - again none of them women. When there were certainly women among them - my grandfather's aunt was one of them.<br />
<br />
Throughout the documentary, the narrator talked about German and Soviet atrocities carried out against the local populations for their support of nationalist partisans. Even against "women and children". Erasing the fact that there were women who were actively involved with the partisans. And assuming that it was somehow more reasonable to kill men who were <i>not</i> active partisans.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2011/03/25/we-hunted-the-mammoth-to-feed-you/">This post on Feministe</a> criticizes the common MRA line that women ought to be more grateful to men because men are the ones who built society and fought in wars, blah blah blah. The idea that it has only ever been men who fought is, of course, <i>bull shit</i>. The assumption itself makes it easy to ignore any evidence to the contrary, obscuring the trials and sacrifices that women experienced as active fighters in war. It's a self-perpetuating myth, that is reflected throughout pop history.<br />
<br />
<i>Image is property of Jo Hedwig Teeuwisse, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/hab3045/441229630/in/photostream/">here on Flickr</a>.</i></div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-25208170970290109952011-03-25T14:54:00.000-04:002011-03-25T14:54:12.144-04:00It's Election Time!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/time-zone/north-america/images/canada.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/time-zone/north-america/images/canada.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
"The Harper Government" has fallen! Good. I'm glad they were taken down on a vote of non-confidence due to the government being in contempt of Parliament in the first time in Canadian history. Instead of being taken down on the budget. It seems like the Liberals are aggressively trying to frame the election - unlike last time. They have to make this about democracy, not economic scare tactics.<br />
<br />
Although I'm not terribly fond of the Liberals, and I think Michael Ignatieff is an enormous douche, they aren't anti-democratic like the Conservatives.<br />
<br />
And if the Liberals don't win this one, they had better come together with the NDP and the Bloc to form a coalition government. Most Canadians vote for a left or left-of-centre party, and it's ridiculous we don't have a left/left-of-centre government.<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i><a href="http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/time-zone/north-america/canada-ca/index.htm">Image source.</a></i></span></div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-16346086143919637192011-03-24T09:32:00.005-04:002011-03-27T21:49:05.412-04:00To My Fellow Privileged Feminists...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">So I just posted <a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/post/4062982517/untitled-trigger-warning-on-this-discussion-not-even">a rant at Sady Doyle</a> on Tumblr. That might not have been the wisest course of action. But I'm angry and frustrated. I am disappointed in third wave feminism, and in us, white cisgender heterosexual able-bodied North American class privileged feminists. I thought we were trying to do better than our predecessors. I thought we were trying to set our egos aside and make room for people who deal with more axes of oppression than being cis women. I thought we were trying to <i>not</i> use feminism to trample over more marginalized people. Can we try to not fuck that up for a while? Seriously. And if we <i>do</i> fuck it up, can we at least try to not make things worse subsequently?<br />
<br />
Without getting into the background of the Tumblr thing, here are some of the key points from my rant:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class=""><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Questioning the subjective reality of the marginalized person you’re talking to is not cool. </li>
</ul></blockquote><blockquote class=""><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>You know what <i>doesn’t</i> matter and what you <i>don’t</i> need to explain when someone tells you you’re being racist, or disablist, etc? YOUR INTENT. Does. Not. Matter. What matters is that you understand how and why what you did was racist/disablist/etc, and that you make an effort to not do it again. </li>
</ul></blockquote><blockquote class=""><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>If you step on someone’s foot (to use the ever-popular foot-stepping metaphor) you don’t say, “yikes! Either I was being clumsy, or you got in the way. I’ll assume that I was being clumsy. But see, I was just trying to demonstrate this really neat dance move that involves a lot of stomping.” No. You step off the person’s foot, apologize, and be more careful. </li>
</ul></blockquote><blockquote class=""><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>As white cisgender heterosexual able-bodied North American feminists, I tend to think that we should always be combating our own privilege. That means <i>not</i> deciding, “Oh, I’ll just revel in my privilege this one time, in this one space.” If you realize that you’re looking at something from a privileged perspective, challenge your perspective yourself. Don’t wait for a more marginalized person to come along and do it for you. </li>
</ul></blockquote><blockquote class=""><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>(I refered back to<a href="http://hystericalmarissa.blogspot.com/2011/03/on-black-people-being-held-to-special.html"> this post</a>) </li>
</ul></blockquote><blockquote class=""><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>What we can do is SHUT UP AND LISTEN. And help in the ways we are told we can help. And also: WE ARE OWED NO ALLOWANCES, NO ASSUMPTIONS OF GOOD FAITH. If you want to be considered an ally, you need to prove that you are an ally, and continue to prove it. And if you fuck up, that does not mean that you get a free pass because, hey, at least you’re trying! It means that you have to keep trying harder.</li>
</ul></blockquote>Yeah. End rant. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-82888148422922865922011-03-24T05:01:00.000-04:002011-03-24T05:01:10.886-04:00Hey, Torontonians!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.slutwalktoronto.com/admin/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/SWTO_header3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.slutwalktoronto.com/admin/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/SWTO_header3.png" /></a></div><br />
<br />
Are you going to <a href="http://www.slutwalktoronto.com/">SlutWalk</a> on April 3rd? </div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-54921970746102155612011-03-21T19:10:00.000-04:002011-03-21T19:10:13.692-04:00And I'm Also On Tumblr Now<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">It seems like a lot of stuff is going down on tumblr these days. So I jumped on that bandwagon too. <a href="http://hystericalmarissa.tumblr.com/">Follow me on tumblr</a>!<div><br />
</div><div>It's not going to be the exact same content as here; I think I'm going to do more post just about things that happen in my life, and random observations and stuff. Also, reblogging.</div><div><br />
</div></div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-23100408556445987702011-03-19T14:04:00.004-04:002011-03-21T16:50:25.480-04:00On Black People Being Held To A Special Standard Of Goodness: A Message To White People<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">This video has been making the rounds online:<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/tjUOUnbAJII?rel=0" title="YouTube video player" width="425"></iframe><br />
<br />
A white woman takes it upon herself to sneer at a younger black woman who is eating on the subway. She calls her an "animal". She says that she will be "going to jail". Apparently, the white woman - and countless others who have commented on this video - expected the black woman to just take being dehumanized by a stranger as she was going about her daily business. Apparently - to countless people who have commented on this video - the fact that the black woman did not just take it, but instead confronted the white woman, and did not let her get away with how she was treating her, and the white woman continued to antagonize the black woman until the confrontation became physical, "proves" something about the "aggressive nature" of black people.<br />
<br />
As a white person myself, I would like to address that white woman, those internet commenters, and all white people who might watch this video: If you feel anything other than sympathy for the black woman in this video, and perhaps concern that the white woman will try to get her into trouble,<i> then you are being racist</i>.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
If you think that black people should accept being antagonized, and dehumanized, and having their very personhood challenged; if you think black people should abstain from challenging the people who treat them that way, from asserting that they are people who deserve respect; if you think black people should just take that kind of treatment and let it wear away at their sense of self until they die - <i>then you are being racist</i>.<br />
<br />
If you think the fact that a young black woman let herself go and became physically violent after being prodded, and prodded, and prodded, "proves" anything other than the probability that she puts up with a lot of shit in her life -<i> then you are being racist</i>.<br />
<br />
If you think that any black person who is not perfect confirms the negative stereotypes about them - <i>then you are being racist</i>.<br />
<br />
If you think that a white person should feel comfortable hurling insults at a random black person, secure in the knowledge that they will not be confronted for their actions - <i>then you are being racist</i>.<br />
<br />
If you think this is simply a case of "bad manners", or being "disrespectful of elders", or "lacking self-control", and that race has nothing to do with it - then not only are you being racist, you're embarrassing yourself. This is a white woman using stereotypes about black people to bully a black woman. It's<i> obviously</i> about race. Sit down and stop being an idiot.<br />
<br />
I'd like you to imagine that everyday, you put up with bullying, with major and minor slurs and insulting assumptions, not only from people you encounter day to day, but also from media, and embedded in the cultural narratives of the society in which you live. Do you imagine that, when confronted with an individual who interrupts your day to let you know that they consider you less than human, that you would<i> always</i> suffer in silence, that you would <i>always</i> take the high road, that you would <i>always</i> meet the requirement of being the bigger person?<br />
<br />
Personally, I know that I've reacted to bullying in very much the same way as the young black woman in the video - standing in front of the bullies and not letting them pass, getting "in their face", and grabbing one by the shoulder when she tried to pass by me. Things might have gotten more physical had I not realized that we were standing across the hall from the principal's office.<br />
<br />
So, yeah, I think the way the black woman in the video acted is entirely understandable. Of course, the difference between the two of us is that <i>I'm white</i>. The way I was being bullied did not fit into a pattern of discrimination that I had faced, and had watched my friends and family face, my entire life. I was in high school and knew that I would encounter bullies, I wasn't going about my daily business when I was shocked by some stranger interfering in my life. And, were someone else to witness the altercation that I was involved in, it would not occur to them to <a href="http://thedailywh.at/2011/03/18/mta-tiff-the-spaghetti-incident/#comment-167778906">compare my behaviour to that of a predatory animal</a>; they would not use my behaviour as "proof" of the aggressive tendencies of white girls. The observer might even support me and cheer me on, like people have supported this kid:<br />
<br />
<object height="370" width="450"><param name="movie" value="http://www.liveleak.com/e/6d6_1300111637"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.liveleak.com/e/6d6_1300111637" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" allowscriptaccess="always" width="450" height="370"></embed></object><br />
<br />
The two incidents are not directly analogous. The simple point I want to make is that when we see a white kid standing up to a bully, he gets a facebook page supporting him. When we see a young black woman standing up to racist bullying, she's pathologized.<br />
<br />
If you're not disgusted by the white woman's behaviour, then you're siding with privilege over human decency. If you can't find in yourself the ability to empathize with the black woman she's harassing, you're letting racial difference get in the way of how you relate to people. If your first reaction is to judge the black woman, instead of the white woman who instigated the conflict, then you're being racist.<br />
<br />
Stop.</div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-47231741129496811882011-03-18T02:01:00.002-04:002011-03-18T16:27:32.528-04:00WTF Cleverbot?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://cleverbot.com/s/jabberwacky/c/cleverbot267x126.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://cleverbot.com/s/jabberwacky/c/cleverbot267x126.jpg" /></a></div><div><br />
</div><div><br />
</div>My partner plays World of Warcraft. We were talking about the different bots people use in the game, and how sophisticated some of them are. That made me think of Cleverbot, the website where you can have a conversation with an artificial intelligence program. So I went over there.<br />
<br />
I started by asking, "<i>Do you play WOW?</i>"<br />
<div><br />
</div><div>It replied, "<b>No, I'm a girl.</b>"</div><div><br />
</div><div><i>There are girls who play WOW.</i></div><div><i><br />
</i></div><div><b>Are you a boy?</b></div><div><b><br />
</b></div><div><i>No.</i></div><div><i><br />
</i></div><div><b>You are a boy.</b></div><div><b><br />
</b></div><div><i>What makes you think that?</i></div><div><i><br />
</i></div><div><b>Because you love me and I am a girl.</b></div><div><b><br />
</b></div><div><i>I could be a lesbian.</i></div><div><i><br />
</i></div><div><b>You're a man?</b></div><div><b><br />
</b></div><div><i>No.</i></div><div><i><br />
</i></div><div><b>Is Scotland better than England?</b></div><div><b><br />
</b></div><div><i>Not only are you sexist and heteronormative, you're ethnocentric too.</i></div><div><i><br />
</i></div><div><b>You cannot claim ownership of that statement.</b></div><div><b><br />
</b></div><div><i>I totally own that statement.</i></div><div><i><br />
</i></div><div><b>Yes.</b></div><div><b><br />
</b></div><div><s>Seriously, who programs this thing?</s></div></div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-31220349683635612842011-03-16T22:48:00.000-04:002011-03-16T22:48:46.616-04:00I'm On Twitter!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Yeah, so I got a Twitter account. Cause sometimes I want to share my thoughts, but there's not enough for a blog post. And it seems to be what all the cool kids are doing. Follow me please! (See sidebar for button) Also, I'm wondering who I should follow, so if you have any favourites, please suggest them!</div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2947531464731932463.post-7492106970834249132011-03-15T17:07:00.001-04:002011-03-21T14:34:15.552-04:00It's About Power<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://cwcs.ysu.edu/sites/default/files/images/steeltown/Industrial-Factory-Women.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://cwcs.ysu.edu/sites/default/files/images/steeltown/Industrial-Factory-Women.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><div><br />
</div><div><br />
</div>I've been catching up on feminist blogs, including a piece that Amanda Marcotte wrote for The Good Men Project called "<a href="http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/solution-mra-problems-more-feminism/">The Solution to MRA Problems? More Feminism</a>". The article is pretty much exactly what I think whenever I read anything by an anti-feminist "men's rights activist". Some of whom turn up in the comments to that very article. One individual who calls themselves <a href="http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/solution-mra-problems-more-feminism/#comment-18297">thehermit</a> wrote,<br />
<div><blockquote>Equality would probably help everybody, the basic problem is, that feminism never was equality. Not at all.<br />
Do they want 50% women in the congress? Of course. 50% of directors of big companies? Sure. 50% of homelesses? 50% of workplace deaths? …….<br />
Oh wait, they only want half of the GOOD things.<br />
<a name='more'></a></blockquote><div><div>This common MRA complaint actually is <i>directly</i> addressed by Marcotte in her article. But I want to talk about it here too. </div><div><br />
</div><div>The answer to all of thehermit's questions is YES. </div></div></div><div><br />
</div><div>In the "Western World" men have higher rates of workplace deaths because they are typically hired for more dangerous types of jobs like mining and factory work. Women were initially employed in these sectors. But then came union organization. <i>Women were deliberately pushed out of these jobs by male workers</i> because a) doing so lowered competition in the job market, and b) men could then justify demands for higher wages by saying that they had to support their wives.* Women were legislatively barred from many such occupations. Today, women might only face social barriers to working in the industrial sector, but those barriers - including social expectations, the prejudice of employers, and the prospect of being one of the few women in the workplace and as result having to deal with casual and overt sexism and possibly harassment every day - are significant. Feminists have backed employment and human rights regulations that whittle down these barriers somewhat. Feminists also pushed for women to be able to join the armed services, and to serve on the front lines. I think it's pretty obvious that feminists want employment equity in dangerous jobs as well as high-ranking positions. To suggest otherwise is just facetious and counter-factual. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Moreover, I think it's fair to say that in general, feminists don't want <i>anyone</i> to be homeless or to die as a result of their job. </div><div><br />
</div><div>But there's another, broader point I want to make. </div><div><br />
</div><div>There are a number of complaints that MRAs use to try to establish that men as a group are worse off than women in our society. The higher rate of workplace deaths among men - which is the result of men dominating sectors where you can get a well-paying union job without investing in higher education. The higher rate of men serving in the armed forces and dying in combat - when in the "West" armed service is an incident of full citizenship. Higher rates of suicide among men - as a result of greater pressure to succeed in the workplace. Men more frequently being the victims of violent crimes - which glosses over the fact that men are are even more frequently the perpetrators of violent crimes - and can be attributed to an array of social factors from the requirement that men use aggression to establish their masculinity, to the fact that men have more freedom to move through the public sphere.</div><div><br />
</div><div>The fact is that most of the things that MRAs complain about are the result of having social/structural power - having access to more sectors of employment, being recognized as a full citizen and person, having high expectations, being in leadership positions, being encouraged to develop and use their physical strength, etc. The fact that there are downsides to one's social position does not mean that those in less privileged positions are conspiring against you. Nor does putting up with those downsides mean that you have earned your privilege and that you deserve it more than anyone else. </div><div><br />
</div><div>An illustrative analogy: If you've seen <i>The King's Speech</i>, then you know that George VI faced some challenges in life. He had stresses and responsibilities that were unique to his position, that in fact likely shortened his life considerably. But the fact that his social position contributed to his early death at 52 does not mean that he was less privileged than a factory worker of that period who lived to 92. He was still the freaking king. Nor does the fact that he performed well as king mean that he deserved to be king more than a factory worker - his position was still an accident of birth. </div><div><br />
</div><div>The point: Everyone has to deal with the shit that comes along with their position in society. Having to deal with shit is not the same thing as being a member of a marginalized group. </div><div><br />
</div><div>MRAs talk about the downsides and upsides of gendered social positions. When they hear that women are expected to do more unpaid labour in the home, they find an upside to it - you get to spend more time with your kids! - and then turn the focus on the downsides of being the primary earner in a family - more stress and less family time! But every social position has downsides and upsides if you look for them. What matters is the relative power between social positions. Having to do more unpaid labour at home often results in one having lower earning capacity, and hence being financially dependent - that is, having less power. It results in one's activities being restricted to the private sphere, having less of a public presence, and hence having less of a political voice - that is, having less power. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Equalizing power means equally sharing the burdens that go along with that power, as well as the burdens of powerlessness. So, yeah, feminists want that.</div><div><br />
</div><div>*Sources: <a href="http://eh.net/encyclopedia/article/burnette.women.workers.britain#8">here</a>, and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Tms Rmn'; font-size: 16px;">Honeyman, Katrina and Jordon Goodman (1991) "Women's work, gender conflict, and labour markets in Europe, 1500-1900."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Tms Rmn'; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Tms Rmn'; font-size: 16px;"><i>Economic History Review</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Tms Rmn'; font-size: 16px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Tms Rmn'; font-size: 16px;">44 (4), 608-28.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Tms Rmn'; font-size: 16px;"><br />
</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Tms Rmn'; font-size: 16px;"><i><a href="http://cwcs.ysu.edu/resources/cwcs-projects/steeltown/teaching-local/industrial-revolution">Image source</a></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Tms Rmn';"><br />
</span></div></div>Marissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00598310548059926496noreply@blogger.com4