I was bored at work today, so I thought I'd make a helpful guide for the people who are sick of getting calls from the place where I work. Here's how to get telemarketers and survey researchers to stop calling you.
- DO answer the phone.
- DON'T ignore calls for days and then finally answer and complain that we keep calling you. We can't tell the difference between you not wanting to answer, and you not being home. You will be called until contact is made.
- DON'T just hang up as soon as you realize it's a survey or a telemarketer. You will be called until someone actually talks to you.
- DO say you're not interested.
- DON'T say "I'm too busy right now," when you mean, "I don't want to hear from you ever again." We will try to call you back when you're not busy.
- DON'T explain your lack of interest. Don't tell a long, drawn-out story about how busy you are. You're wasting your time, no one cares. If we ask why, it's to categorize you for a call-back from the refusal team.
- DON'T pretend you don't speak English. We speak to tons of people who actually can't speak English, and can tell the difference. You sound like an idiot. And if we happen to be doing an important survey, you might be called back in Cantonese.
- DO ask to be taken off the survey researcher's call list, or to be put on the telemarketer's do-not-call list. Do this quickly, before the telemarketer has a chance to read their scripted rebuttals.
- DON'T insist to survey researchers that they shouldn't be calling you because you're on the national do-not-call list. The list only applies to telemarketers.
- DON'T offer to call us at home. You're not proving anything except your douchiness.
- DON'T threaten to sue us. Actually, keep doing that. It's always good for a laugh.
- DON'T be rude unless you want us to "accidentally" schedule a call-back.
|Guess who's getting called back at |
dinner time tomorrow?